‘White privelege’ a topic at Norwalk forum

NORWALK, Conn. — Control of emotions is a white privilege, the Rev. John Morehouse said Thursday in Norwalk City Hall.

This was in response to a story told by Frida Avila, a Brien McMahon High School sophomore, who, as a member of a panel assembled by the Human Relations Commission in observation of International Human Rights Day, said she talks about race differently when she’s around white people so as not to be characterized as an “angry Latina voice.”

The idea of two different Americas, the one experience by white people and the one experienced by everyone else, was a theme through the event organized in collaboration with the Norwalk Branch NAACP and attended by about 80 people in the City Hall community room.

The Rev. Alan Thorne spoke about being stopped by police in Princeton, N.J., and pointed out that he had to ask if it was OK to reach for his car registration while white people do not; the Rev. John Morehouse said he knows a parent who had two different conversations about dealing with police with two sons, because the sons are of different races.

But the predictable focus on police relations was only part of the dialogue. Morehouse, at one point, asked white people in the audience how often they think about race. The answer appeared to be “not much,” causing knowing amusement when he asked other people present how often they think about it – the answer was pretty much all the time.

That turned out to be a misunderstanding, as he hadn’t asked how many white people think about it every day. When that question was posed, 14 people raised their hand.

Panelist Judy Meikle said she thinks about it every day.

“I’ve got friends who are incarcerated, I’ve got people that I love,” she said, going on to describe trying to talk about race with family members and her faith community: “It’s frustrating and it’s risky and it’s difficult and it’s uncomfortable and that’s good, that’s what it should be,” she said.

Panelist Bob Welsh said he’s more comfortable talking about race with someone who is also white because, “I am afraid of saying the wrong thing.”

Thorne said if Welsh did it with the sincerity he was sensing from him, he’d be fine.

“We understand your heart is in the right place. I urge you to do that,” Thorne said. “Preface it, say, ‘I am new, I am trying to understand.’”

African Americans have widely different experiences, Thorne said, promising that Welsh will be amazed.

“Racism didn’t start here in America, it always existed around the world,” Thorne said. “Their pain is coming from different places… The wound is incurable, it seems like, because nothing is really being made right.”

Frida said she there’s a “whole spew” that comes out in a same-race Latin conversation, a “Down with racism rant.”

But when she’s with white people she’s very aware of being Mexican and hesitates, thinking, “How do I say this without being the angry Latina voice?”

“That is the thing, you always come off as angry, Latina and just a voice,” she said. “So, we should be able to have this conversation without me being labeled as the angry Latina voice because yes, I am Latina, this is a voice, but sometimes I am not angry. Sometimes I am just trying to have a conversation.”

“The world is melanated,” a woman in the audience said in response, complaining of a “systematic situation under white privilege.”

To even use the word Latina is “a negro situation,” the woman said, advocating for a change in the conversation on civil rights.

Paul Cantor ran through a list of “Trump stereotypes,” calling Trump the “elephant in the room” and trying to get people to form a new group, Stand Up Norwalk (SUN).

After the meeting, Cantor said he’d gotten 14 people to sign up.

A teen who identified herself as a Norwalk High School junior said she had looked around her Honors History class and noticed that there were no black children. She was Muslim, she said, expressing pain because someone she had known since elementary school said her family should have gone to an internment camp after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

An African American teenager said he’d seen a Facebook post from a white person, who said, “I don’t see color.”

“That in and of itself is a statement of white privilege. You say you don’t see color? It doesn’t make sense for you to not see color,” Thorne said, drawing chuckles.

“I have my ‘get over’ my speech,” he said. “I relish having these conversations one on one… Don’t ever tell a black person to get over it. Because what you are asking me to do is get over slavery. You’re asking me to get over the effects of slavery, You’re asking me to get over the economic issues that we have battled. You are asking to not remember the history and the pain that we had to get over to even get this far. So for me to get over it, I don’t think so. I refuse to get over it, it’s part of my history, it’s part of who I am, I am very proud of it and I am not going to get over it.”

“I think, ‘Get over it’ is a defensive reaction,” Welsh replied. “I think where that come from is people don’t want to admit that they have an unfair advantage. It doesn’t feel good to have that experience. I think I have been defensive at times.”

Back to the audience.

“I think that a lot of time, I can’t talk about race because it’s very painful for me to think of what my ancestors had to suffer through. I think on the other hand it’s very painful to know what your ancestors did to them,” Angela Harrison said. “So, if you’re really going to talk about it you’re going to have to be honest about what was done to them.”

It’s a “wicked, wicked world,” she said, asking who built “a system that still enslaves today,” a reference to mass incarceration.

“There are many nations within this nation that have the respect of their sovereign home. We have been denied that. You blacked out Africa, which is our only connection,” Harrison said. “

…Once you build a nation within a nation you will get more respect because the truth is not going to be lied about anymore.”

“If I know I did something to you and I am not paying any consequence or price for it, why do I want to talk about it? I don’t,” she said, gaining applause from one woman.

A black man asked the panel if they thought the system was broken, if the government needs fixing, and how it could be fixed.

Of course it’s broken, Thorne replied.

“The way we fix it? I do believe we need to get in place and jostle, and get folks into the right position to be able to make changes,” he said.

Panelist Alejandra Bonilla, a BMHS junior, said obviously the system is broken because although we don’t have slavery anymore we do have mass incarceration.

The government is both broken and working – for the people who created it, white wealthy men, said panelist Derek Lue, a BMHS senior.

“One of the most important things that white people can do is to practice, practice, practice and build up resilience about not being fragile when we talk about this,” Meikle said.

“It is a very, very important conversation to have, especially in these times,” she said. “I hear a lot of conversation that the sky is falling because Donald Trump is our president. Well, guess what? Racism was around long before Donald Trump came onto the scene.”

Wrapping it up, Human Relations Commissioner Daisy Franklin said, “White privilege was a hard one for us but we are glad that we had it. It was a way to give you to think about white privilege, to think about how you can make changes, to think about what you need to do to make those changes.”

After the meeting, a group of NAACP members discussed the conversation. Darius Williams said it was interesting; Sharlie Daniel said it was a “pretty good start,” while Jalin Sead said he thought the panel played it safe.

Darius, a BMHS student, said the NAACP is having a discussion about the stigma within the minority community and white privilege, from 5 to 8 p.m. Jan. 24 in the South Norwalk Library. It was hoped that a more in-depth conversation would occur.

Bob Welsh is a Board member of Chapman Hyperlocal Media Inc., the parent company of NancyOnNorwalk.